Hints & TiPs
How Quickly can we get married?
So we’ve all seen the TV soap wedding where the last episode’s cliffhanger means the planned wedding can’t go ahead. With the tension at an all time high, the groom storms out, or the Maid of Honour arrives and announces the bride has skipped town etc. etc.
Then one of the guests stands up and announces, looking lovingly into the eyes of their partner, “Folks, there will still be a wedding today…..”
Nice idea Channel whatever, but in real life this can’t happen. It would not be a legal ceremony and a marriage certificate would not be issued.
A couple have an obligation to lodge the Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) with their celebrant at least a month before the wedding, and this can be done up to 18 months in advance. It’s a good idea to get it out of the way as soon as possible as this is when all the legal documents are reviewed, so it’s a bit to organize, but once it’s done it doesn’t need to be revisited.
You will need to know the venue and time of the ceremony to complete the NOIM. You will also need to provide a document that shows the place of birth of each party, and a form of photo ID which can be a passport or a drivers license. These can be sent to your celebrant by email and validated with the originals later. It’s also very recently been made possible for the celebrant to witness the NOIM signing by video call as a result of COVID but this took quite some time to come into play. This is the case until at least the end of 2022.
If you have been married before you will need to provide proof that the marriage has ended. The required document in the case of divorce is the document issued by the court showing the name of the court as well as the issue date.
And remember if any of your documents were issued overseas, your celebrant will need a translation from an approved source which takes time, so remember to factor that into planning.
Shine in a Million Dollar setting for a fraction of the cost
How lucky we are to have so many gorgeous spots on our doorstep in Sydney! Stroll round the harbour on a Saturday afternoon and you’re likely to encounter at least one beautiful celebration making the most of our perfect setting. And these options really don't blow the budget. Check out council websites for contacts regarding availability, booking and permit requirements. The top spots book out quickly, and it’s no surprise so get in early! What amazing backdrops we have at our disposal.
So…. what’s the process?
The process can basically be divided into two parts, the paperwork or compliance part and the ceremony, or the creative/fun part.
Your celebrant should guide you through both aspects explaining what can or must be done and why every step of the way, so any potential stress is eliminated and you both simply enjoy the process.
As a high level snapshot, this is the drill…….
Think of the paperwork in 3 parts, the first is done early on, and then it’s out of the way until the day before the ceremony:
The Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) must be signed, witnessed and lodged with me at least one month before the wedding. This is when you provide your identity documents and where I record or check the details. The easiest way is for you to complete the top section of the NOIM and email it back to me together with copies of your passport or birth certificate and drivers license for each of you. I can then validate the copies when we meet by sighting the actual documents. The NOIM can now be witnessed online if required, we just need to do a quick video call.
No legal Impediment to Marriage is one side of one of the three certificates that are signed immediately after the ceremony. It must be signed by both parties before the ceremony and as close to the ceremony as possible, so usually the day before, at the rehearsal or on the day if it’s practical. The document states that there is no reason why either party cannot be married to the other. It cannot be signed virtually, so this meeting prior to the actual wedding is essential.
Immediately after the ceremony you, your witnesses and I will each sign 3 marriage certificates.
The first is the reverse side of the No Legal Impediment form you have already signed. This used to be posted to the Registry after the marriage, though this is all done electronically through the Births Deaths and Marriages portal now so no actual paper goes to them unless its requested (if your celebrant is not using the portal it may be a much slower process to get the official certificate from BDM).
The second is the copy that I am required to keep for a number of years; it used to be in a big red book or ‘Register’ but the form format has now been updated to reflect recent changes to the Marriage Act, so the red book has gone into retirement.
The third is the Form 15 or the commemorative certificate to take home. This is a uniquely numbered document, and it cannot be replaced so make sure you have a delegate to look after this for you on the day, but it is not the legal marriage certificate which comes from Births Deaths and Marriages.
I get my clients to sign all 3 documents one after the other and then pass the pen to the next person: Bride, Groom, (or Spouse 1, Spouse 2) Bride’s witness, Groom’s witness then me tends to work well, but we can decide together ahead of time and fill in the forms in the order you prefer. The Form 15 is signed last as this is the one you keep and you want it to look great, so by doing it last you are well into the signing groove!
The creative part is about how the ceremony is written. How much do you want to speak; how much do you want me to speak? Do you want others involved? Friends, family?
All of the speaking bits could be done by you or friends and family aside from a couple of paragraphs which must be said by me and by you. Do you want to include readings, poems, flash mob stuff ( a reading with lines distributed amongst your guests, maybe randomly placed on their chairs or a bit less spontaneous), tips for a successful marriage from respected guests and older relatives, personal vows, and should they be secret or written together and shared before the ceremony? Do you need to “zoom” guests in? Do we welcome them and should they participate? Basically, loads of options and nothing is off the table.
I typically share some sample ceremonies (that I’ve written for ongoing professional development, not for clients; as my goal is that your ceremony reflects your personality, character and spirit, and is only ever shared with you). These samples will give you some ideas and then we’ll talk about what the skeleton format might look like. I then write the ceremony based this and all our chats, and we work together to refine it until it is exactly what you are after.
The it’s off to the printer, proof read and bound as an A5 book that we use on the day which is yours to keep as a memento, next stop celebrations…..